


i do

by tradrishanally



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers, Statetalia
Genre: DC and Marvel Doggos, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Musical References, Weddings, thanks obama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2019-11-09 01:08:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17991929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tradrishanally/pseuds/tradrishanally
Summary: President Bill Clinton deems it legal that States and the Country of America be able to get married to whomever they choose, so long as they fill out the necessary paperwork for both states and/or countries. Jan, 2000President Barack Obama deems marriage regardless of sex or gender legal in the United States of America. 26 Jun, 2015





	1. TN/FL/WA

_Jun 2000~_

Milo, Taylor, and Venus keep the idea that they finally _can_ in the backs of their minds until the trial for them to even be able to get married as a polyamorous “group” backfires. It’s sullen and melancholy as their dreams are shattered.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Dec 2002~_

Taylor watches as she copies the legal paperwork of a real Marriage License from the state of Washington that Calliope had “borrowed” for her. Her hand flies across the paper as she copies the terms word-for-word. Taylor takes a minute to look at the other 4 papers. Marriage licenses from each of their states and the forged copies.

“You do realise that this is incredibly illegal, right?” Taylor asks as she finishes up the last paragraph.

“You do realise that _we_ are incredibly illegal, right?” Venus rolls her eyes and copies the signature area, tweaking it for the situation.

She finishes, and pulls out the blue ink and signs her name, handing the pen to Taylor for him to do the same afterwards. He takes a minute to marvel at the calligraphy that the license is written in, how it looked so unassuming next to the real document; it was even written on the same type of paper.

“Milo is going to throw a fit.”

Venus laughs at his remarks.

/\/\/\/\

Venus finishes all 6 rings’ bases, and she takes them to Alyssa for her to embed the citrines, rubies, and aquamarines into them.

/\/\/\/\

They don’t arrive for Christmas and Bridgette gives them an earful for it. There are 6  small, black boxes under the tree.

They open the slightly bigger ones- “legal” marriage licenses, one from each of their states. Milo is dumbfounded about how this actually worked. Venus smiles on as she lets Mateo grab the 3 littler boxes.

Rings, half silver, half gold, the boxes engraved with each of their names.

“Merry Christmas, _mis tesoros._ ” Venus smiles, watching her _husbands_ tear up at the fact that they pulled this off. She gives them both a kiss and decides, sitting on the floor in one of Taylor’s good, broke-in formal shirts with Spot napping in the corner, that this is worth the possibility of getting arrested in the future for forging documents.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_May 2004_

They know something is up when Inesa screams, but Venus still has her hair long, probably growing it out so Bernadette can sew some wigs for cancer patients in a few months. A closer look and they see _the fucking rings_. Within a minute the whole meeting erupts with screaming until they notice that Milo _AND Taylor_ have them too.

Alfred and Noah grow worried because they know the court ruling for their situation.

/\/\/\/\

“ _YOU DID IT ILLEGALLY_?!” Noah screams at them when they admit.

“Tell me another way we could have done it that doesn’t involve waiting for people to _pull their heads out of their asses_ and being done with humanity for that duration of time. You act like none of us have ever done anything illegal,” Venus groans. Her tone is full of malice and aggravation.

“You still did it illegally-”

“I helped them, and they have an alibi _and_ a faux supreme court ruling document,” Calliope mentions.

“ _Cal_ , you’ll be fired if they find out.” Noah is exasperated, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Love, I’m fully aware.” Calliope kisses his temple and leaves with him.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Jul 2008~_

“Did you have a ceremony without us?” Margaret asks while on a meeting break.

“No, We forged the documents for Cal in early December. I made the rings by the 15th. The legal licenses came in the mail around the 20th. The ring exchange was on Christmas,” Venus explains.

“2003?”

“2002. Took y’all a year to find out.” Venus laughs at Maggie’s astonishment.

“Do you want to have a ceremony, like Alyssa and Eli?”

“Not right now,” Taylor says for the 3 of them.

“Okay. Let me know if you do, family discount is offered.”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Jun 2015~_

The Supreme Court rules same-sex marriage legal in all of the US.

They try again at applying for a marriage license.

It fails, again.

/\/\/\/\

“Do you want a ceremony?” Margaret asks while filing documents.

They exchange looks for a minute.

“Definitely.” Milo smiles.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Nov 2015~_

“Can we start planning now?” Venus asks.

Milo and Taylor snicker. “You’re high off the fact that we just had a wedding 2 weeks ago.”

“I’ll admit that,” Venus smiles. “Bernadette has been bugging me about the fact that we can go dress shopping for the past month.” She rolls her eyes. That wouldn't happen until at least 3 months before the actual date.

“Sure, But prepare for it to be long and stressful-” Milo smiles.

/\/\/\/\

“Do you have any idea where and what you want?” Margaret pulls out a notebook and a pen. She writes areas for the date, city, venue, and details.

“Late September, somewhere in Tennessee.” Milo smiles. Maggie writes the details down, nodding.

“Colour scheme?”

“White and gold, but that could change.”

/\/\/\/\

The next 4 months are filled with research and a constant stream of Pinterest pins for ideas.

Taylor finds a venue in the Appalachians and a [ Reception Venue ](https://www.shutterfly.com/ideas/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/wedding-reception-ideas-hanging-lights-outdoor.jpg) nearby and they reserve September 26th.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_May 2016~_

They all put their old rings into a memento box for the time being.

/\/\/\/\

“Hey?” Connor asks Venus after the meeting.

“What?” Venus motions for Taylor and Milo to come over.

“You need someone to do the cake?”

“Yeah, but the whole thing is in 4 months.”

“I’ll do it.” Connor offers.

“Okay.”

/\/\/\/\

Margaret writes down more things into her notebook and writes down the decided onto a separate page for them. “This look right?”

Venus peruses the page and smiles. “Change all the flowers to white and yellow Dahlias.”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Jul 2016~_

Bernadette pressures Venus into going dress shopping.

She leaves with a [ sweetheart neckline, strapless, satin and lace, tea length dress ](https://www.everafterguide.net/s/upload/images/2016/06/bfda067106fc95a27868dc2fedd74610.jpg).

/\/\/\/\

“I’m making us new rings. Anything you are against the engravings being?” Venus smiles.

“Just nothing too extra,” Milo says.

/\/\/\/\

Venus holds up 2 rings for them to see. Milo and Taylor marvel at the engravings.

“They say, ‘Words of Promise: “I Love You”’ and ‘Words of Forever: “I do.”' Not too sappy?” Venus asks.

“They’re perfect,” Taylor kisses her cheek while muttering.

“We get one of each.”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Sep 2016~_

“Mr. President?” Venus held the documents and the licenses  but she would honestly like to be holding onto Milo or Taylor for support.

President Obama looks up from his paperwork at the four states at the door of his office. “Ah, Florida, Washington, Tennessee, California. What can I help you with?” he smiles.

“It’s regarding the recent marriage ruling.” Venus sets the boxes and papers on his desk and sits down in one of the guest chairs. “These documents are forged from 2002. It’s not the worst illegal thing any of us have done, but they exist.”

“I’d have to say I would not believe these are forgeries if I wasn’t told. Why did you bring these?” The president eyes the forged documents in awe and confusion.

The words hitch into Venus’s throat.

“We want to get married legally, but the people still deem anything polyamorous as illegal. Even with our State IDs, for this to happen we’d need an official document from you deeming it legal and constitutional, and for the officials to not laugh in our face, We’d like you to deliver them in person,” Taylor says.

“Will that be all?” he asks, setting the papers down.

“Well, You’d need 3 documents and us to be present for them to legally allow us to marry, one for each state, delivered to the capitals,” Taylor adds on, “and that would be all.”

“I’m sure, Miss Calliope will help me with the documents, as you’ve brought her.”

They don’t know if they were crying before or crying after.

/\/\/\/\

The first one delivered is in Tallahassee and the officials in the city hall all begin acting much more professional in the view of the president.

“Mr. President, Miss Varequiez-Jones, both Mr. Jones’. What can I do for you?” The lady at the reception desk asks, her smile strained because the three are back.

Venus sets all 3 State IDs onto the desk, stares the lady in the eyes, and grins. “We’d like to apply for a marriage license. Hate to say it, but you can’t refuse this time.”

“That would be debatable. Mr. President, what is your standing on this?” the lays turns and asks, the look in her eyes hoping that he wouldn’t allow this “nonsense” to occur.

“It’s constitutional and legal, as they are all up to date on paperwork and identification,” Mr. Obama smiles and hands over the first document. The lady turns as white as a sheet. “No need for you to send the approved copies to them through the mail, Fax the documents to a Miss Margaret Sarah Jones, personification of Washington, D.C. for filing purposes and send the registration to these three at the provided address.”

The lady groans, and pulls out 3 documents ready for signing. “You’d each need to sign two, we are not creating some special registration form for your case. We’ll request all 3 names on one registration, though. Fee will be doubled, cash only.”

They smile as they sign and pay.

/\/\/\/\

The requests in Nashville and Olympia go much the same, but the sneers and groaning became easier to deal with once the legal registrations came in the mail.

/\/\/\/\

“So what do you want?” Connor asks. “Wedding’s in a week.”

“3 tiered, one tier vanilla, one chocolate, one strawberry. If you can, Have the bottom border piped as yellow Dahlias to match the flowers, no toppers. Milo’s restaurant is catering everything else,” Venus fiddles with her old engagement ring.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_26 Sep 2016~_

Venus smiles into the mirror while Paige delicately braids her freshly cut hair and places the veil. She looks like a queen, her hair barely touching her shoulders. She opens her dress, Freshly steamed clean by Bernadette.

Louise helps lace her up and settle the edge to where it looks nice. Venus smiles at Louise in her maid-of-honour's dress, dizzy off the feeling that _in less than an hour this will all be real_.

“Milo and Taylor are ready and practically fucking each other with their eyes,” Brett yells from the door.

“Give me 2 minutes,” Venus calls out, now going to tie the rings to the ring bearer pillow, a precaution so that even if Mateo trips, the rings would still be on the pillow.

/\/\/\/\

It doesn’t feel real until she’s at the end of the aisle, clutching Spain’s arm for support, as she swears that she’s going to fall and ruin everything or faint.

All she can see is Milo and Taylor, the looks of wonder in their eyes, the overarching rightness of the moment.

The words and ceremony blurs together and the only thing she really can remember saying is “I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They had a stay-at-home honeymoon and were incredibly lazy.
> 
> Anonymous comments disabled to prevent anonymous hellraising.


	2. AR/VT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Will you accept this shiny rock that proves I love you?”
> 
> She nods, laughing more at the phrasing than him.

_ Jun 2004~ _

He sees the wreck that is Milo, Taylor, and Venus trying to get married and hopes that it’ll go smoother for him if he ever wants. 

-v-v-v~

Ring shopping is a pain in the ass, especially when you have an idea about what you want, but the person you’re bringing with you to help you get the correct size without it being obvious has another, completely different idea.

Bernadette is looking at the gaudier and more dramatic rings with glorious awe, but he’s over here looking at the smaller cuts and the non-diamond rings.

“Can I help you?” a worker asks after about 20 minutes of looking.

“Do you have any raw cut gems, not polished?” Eli asks.

“I think we do, but are you sure- they aren’t as shiny or large.”

Eli stands up, revealing his  _ Trust me, I’m a Geologist _ t-shirt. “I’m sure.”

-v-v-v-

He’s panicking as Bernadette eyes the ring, studying it with a fascination she only gives the projects she’s working on. “She’s going to love it.”

-v-v-v~

Eli dragged her on a walk so they can get some fresh air, even though there could still have been ice on the trails. Alyssa trots on, keeping a firm grip on his hand. 

“I got a new rock I wanna show you- I know a clearing where it’s look  best in the light. Artificial light does it no justice,” Eli says, pulling her back from the bunny that does not want to be petted.

“Is it shiny?” Alyssa asks.

“Very.”

They take their time heading to the clearing, high in the Appalachians. 

“Okay, okay, okay. It’s one of your favourite rocks and it’s cut in a way that you haven’t seen yet. I want you to close your eyes- or put your hands over them.” Eli stands in front of her watching her press the base of her palms over her eyes. He tries not to smile and laugh at her when she begins to goof around with her eyes covered. 

“Okay, open up.”

She opens her eyes, and laughs. “Eli-”

He’s on one knee, and holding a box with a diamond ring. “Will you accept this shiny rock that proves I love you?”

She nods, laughing more at the phrasing than him.

-v-v-v-v-v-v~

_ Aug 2004~ _

They notice the ring quickly, more quickly than they ever noticed Venus, Milo, and Taylor’s wedding bands. With the first minute, half the room is crowded around Alyssa and various “congratulations” are heard. 

Margaret eyes him with a look that says “Need help?”

He shoots her a look that says “Not yet.”

-v-v-v-v-v-v-

_ Nov 2006~ _

Alyssa is yelling at him about how his rocks in the case are getting dusty and dirty and he can only really smile when she baby talks to the rocks about how they’re gonna feel better after this. She pulls out a polishing cloth and gently starts rubbing the dust off of the rock and smiling when the cloth eventually gets covered in dust.

(She sneezes for a solid thirty minutes after and Eli cannot properly handle it without acting sappy.)

-v-v-v-

Margaret is not happy about being woken up at 4 am, but she cheers up when the words resound. “Uhh, so I was thinking the entire wedding theme could be ‘Shiny rock that proves i love you,”’ what do you think?” Eli sounds as if he’s trying to keep quiet for obvious snoring fiancée reasons.

“I was thinking that this conversation would happen at not-4am but it’s a start.”

-v-v-v-

Alyssa has entire pinterest board dedicated to ideas they both might like, and Margaret squeals over how sappy and romantic she wants it. “Yeah, just- listen to her but I want shiny rocks.” 

“Eli, love- you’ll get your shiny rocks- maybe even a geode- maybe a fault line if we’re feeling generous,” Alyssa laughs.

-v-v-v-v-v-v-

_ Jan 2007~ _

“Are we going to have the ceremony and reception at the same place?” Alyssa asks. 

Eli stops fiddling with his pen and looks at her. “Same place. The rental works for both on the same day.” He watches her confused face soften, before she breaks out into a grand smile.

She jots the information down into her little notebook and looks back up to ask another question. “Eli, love, you’re staring at me like you’ve only seen me once.”

“It’s not  _ my fault _ that you’re gorgeous when you’re smiling.”

-v-v-v-v-v-v-

_ Feb 2007~ _

Alyssa and Margaret have a field day with all the prep work and the designing, and Eli just tries to follow along without becoming incredibly confused. He understands the aesthetic she wants and doesn’t want to admit that he’s completely lost. 

The girls finish going on and on. Alyssa turns to him and smiles, and he smiles back. She mentions something about lunch and heads off.

Maggie turns to him and rolls her eyes- “Okay, so here’s what we were talking about in pictures and simple phrases.”

-v-v-v-

Bernadette steals Alyssa after the meeting, mentioning something about “lunch with the girls.” Eli doesn’t think much of it until she sends him a SOS text reading “ _ Help. They’ve dragged me dress shopping. They’re putting me in the poofiest ones. _ ”

He responds with “ _ Lol. Send me a pic of the worst one. _ ”

-v-v-v-

“ETTIE! IT’S NOT FOR ANOTHER 4 MONTHS. NOT TO MENTION I LOOK LIKE A BUNDT CAKE IN ALL OF THESE.”

-v-v-v-v-v-v-

_ April 2007~ _

Maggie shows them the formal RSVP invitations and Eli swears that he shouldn’t be this happy over cards with geodes and  _ glitter _ . It doesn’t matter, though, because Alyssa is equally as excited as he is. 

He runs his fingers over the date, June 10th, and frowns when he gets glitter on his finger. Luckily, Alyssa isn’t looking and he can subtly spread the glitter in to her hair as he runs his fingers through it.

-v-v-v-

Bernadette drags Alyssa back out dress shopping. “ _ I want something with a column skirt, more elegant style than princess style _ ” is the only specific request that the shoppe workers get. Of course, the workers also ask Bernadette, who says “ _ Ball gown dresses. I want her to look like a princess _ .”

-v-v-

Bernadette forces her into another ball gown, and Alyssa almost throws up when Bernadette notes that “this is definitely the one” and goes to try and buy it for her. 

Alyssa snaps at the workers to get their attention. “Yeah, can we go onto what _ I  _ want since  _ I’m _ the one getting married? This one is definitely too much in all the wrong ways.” The workers look at her as if she was crazy, but listen to the bride and not the person who is definitely off the guest list by now.

-v-v-

She tries on about a dozen dresses,  _ half of them still ball gowns because the shoppe workers still listen to Bernadette _ , until she finds one that she genuinely likes.

“This one is gorgeous. I like it,” she smiles. 

“It’s from Robes de Mariée by Laure de Sagazan. The dress is called  [ Crimée ](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/399905641910945548/) ,” the worker states as Bernadette wrinkles her nose at it. “It’s over a thousand dollars, though.”

“How much?” Alyssa asks as Bernadette vetoes  the dress. 

“1023.60.”

“Ring it up,” Alyssa smiles. “I can pay for it out-of-pocket.”

“THIS ISN’T EVEN A NICE DRESS, ALYSSA.” 

“Well, darlin’, maybe you forgot that this  _ my wedding _ and not yours.”

-v-v-v-

Bernadette and Bridgette are arguing about who’s going to be the Maid of Honor, and it turns into a screaming match by lunch.

They give up and ask.

“Caroline’s my Maid of Honor, Stephanie and Paige are bridesmaids,” Alyssa provides. “We already got their dresses preordered.”

-v-v-v-v-v-v-

_ May 2007~ _

Margaret is spamming them with the confirmations for the orders and Connor is bugging them about the cake and  _ it’s all too much _ . 

“Connor. I’ve told you like 70 times. Peach cake, and then get rock candy and smash it up for decoration-  _ yes it’s supposed to look like crystals _ . Connor. The rest is up to you because you’re the PROFESSIONAL.”

Eli has heard her yelling on the phone at Connor for about 20 minutes before she hangs up and groans loudly. He pulls out a geode and ventures out of the room to find her in a miserable lump on the couch.  

“Y’okay?” Eli asks. 

Alyssa only groans, dramatically flopping her forearm over her head as a fainting debutante would in a movie. “I’m a damsel in distress over people being idiots.”

“Want a shiny rock?” Eli asks, offering her the geode.

“I will never say no to shiny ro- OOH VIOLET!”

-v-v-v-v-v-v-

_ Jun 2007~ _

“So you want Bernadette off the guest list? Why?” Margaret asks while typing up the formal guest list for the bouncers.

“She has repeatedly tried to stuff me into what she wants, and after I bought my dress was caught trying to take scissors to it so I’d have to buy what she wants. Then she threatened me over not being my Maid of Honor when she  _ watched _ me ask Caroline,” Alyssa rolls her eyes.

-v-v-v-

Caroline hooks her up with a Spa Day on the 9th, as preparation for the most stressful day of her life. 

-v-v-v-v-v-v-

_ 10 Jun 2007~ _

Alyssa helps Margaret and Bridgette with the décor and seating, grinning at the small, cracked geodes at every seat in the Reception Hall.

It’s only when Paige and Caroline complain that “you are never going to get ready if you don’t stop” that she stops to actually get ready.

-v-v-v-

Paige looks at her messy split ends and frowns. “Can I take like 3 inches off so I can actually brush it?”

Alyssa had never been fond of haircuts, but even she knew that her ends are messed up badly from how much she braids it and refuses to brush it. “Take off as much as you need but keep it long enough that I still look like myself.

-v-v-v-

Paige kept the mirror covered for what felt like forever, primping and preening her until she looked decent enough for Paige to announce to Alyssa, “Ready?”

“I’m not sure anymore, that is a lot of hair on the ground.”

“It’s only seven inches off.”

“ONLY 7 INCHES????” Alyssa asks.

“I could have taken off a whole foot of hair if I wanted to-” Paige draws on. Alyssa looks sick. “I’ll shut up now.”

She takes the blanket off the mirror.

Her hair is still long and gorgeous, and it lays so flatly now that it’s cut. She pulls a lock down and her hand phantomly wanders down to the original length. 

“It looks good.” 

“You need to put on your dress sweetie.”

-v-v-v-

Her dress was on, still fitting like day 1, and Caroline sets the veil on and Paige stares straight at the ceiling.

“Paige, are you okay?” Alyssa asks, laughing.

“I CAN’T CRY YET. MY EYELINER TOOK 10 MINUTES TO GET EVEN AND NOT LOOK LIKE A BARBIE DOLL.”

“She’s fine, I guess.”

-v-v-v-

“ARE Y’ALL READY YET??  IT’S BEEN AN HOUR AND A HALF!” Isaac yells while “knocking” (read: banging) on the door.

“WE’LL KEEP MAKING HER LOOK LIKE THE QUEEN SHE IS FOR ANOTHER HOUR IF YOU DON’T SHUT UP.” 

“PAIGE MCKENNA JONES!” Isaac yells back.

-v-v-v-

Jamie rushes in about 10 seconds before they were going to head to the aisle. “Uhh Bernadette is pissed and outside. The bouncers are restraining her.”

“I don’t care, she can suffer.” Alyssa is emotionless as she grabs Elliot’s arm so they can walk down the aisle.

“Since when was she cruel and heartless?” Jamie asks.

“Ettie tried to make the wedding all her decisions and not Aly’s, apparently.” Caroline goes to Link arms with Beau.

“What. The. Fuck?”

-v-v-v-

Eli’s decided that there is probably nothing prettier in this world than Alyssa at this moment. He’d say that any day of the week, but nothing can top seeing her in a wedding dress, not even her covered in hamsters at the animal shelter. He makes a mental note that her hair is shorter and her smile is brighter and everything is-

He feels a strong slap on his left arm and that’s when he realises he’s staring, and she’s almost at the altar. He makes a mental note to thank Beau for snapping him out of “Alyssa-is-perfect”-land.

He takes note of her smile, the way that the lights glimmer in her eyes. He tunes out the coordinator and watches as she mouths “I do.” 

And suddenly she’s worried. She’s waving at him.

“ELI” someone shouts. He’s snapped out. “DO YA DO OR DO YA NOT?” It’s Steph, being such a kind sister and yelling at him.

“ _ Well I’m sorry that the fact that my fiancée, just about to be wife, is perfect and I feel the need to admire her for as long as I want, _ ” he responds.

“WELL SAY YA DO AND GET A ROOM!” 

“WE WILL.” He turns back to Alyssa, hiding her amused smile behind her hand. He looks at the coordinator, amused. “Sisters these days.”

Half the room laughs.

“Well, now that you’re out of La La Land, Do you, Eli, take this lovely lady to be your lawfully wedded wife?” the coordinator asks.

“I do.” 

Caroline passes the rings over, and they quickly exchange the rings, Eli taking a moment to kiss Alyssa’s while it’s in a very good place to pull it up slightly and kiss it. (Half the room awwws, and he smiles so widely.)

“Now, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you- Man and Wife,” The coordinator says.

“Uh- no it’s  _ Queen _ and  _ King _ \- they aren’t paying you to demote them significantly,” Paige interrupts.

“Fine- Queen and King.” The coordinator clears his throat. “You may now kiss the bride.”

And Eli does, or way longer than he really should have.

-v-v-v-v-v-v-

(Bernadette gives them all hell for kicking her off the guest list when she had been “so nice to buy you that dress you wanted.”)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i enjoyed writing the ceremony on this one
> 
> Anonymous comments disabled to prevent anonymous hellraising.


	3. OK/TX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drew realises, many times, that he is so very screwed.

_Dec 2017~_

Andrew knows nothing and a half about weddings but he does know that none of the engagement rings at the store are pretty enough for Xavier.

Time to resort to being teased for like 5 hours.

><

Venus and Alyssa ‘awwww’ at him for a solid thirty minutes before they start taking him seriously.

 _Jesus fucking Christ- why are the girls like this_.

(This is entirely the reason why he went after guys for like 30 years. Best thirty years of his life considering he’s,  _hopefully_ , getting a very pretty husband out of this.)

><

The sketch looked amazing. The ring would hopefully look better.

(Spoiler Alert:  _It does_.)

><

He’s crying actual, genuine tears. It’s perfect in every way possible.

He leaves the money for it in a place where they’ll eventually find it because they won’t take payment directly.

><><><

_29 Dec 2017~_

"Hey, babe- come here," Drew calls to Xavier from across the room.  Xavier comes over, and Drew immediately grabs his hand. Drew smiles as he maneuvers his hand ‘to be comfier’. "Love you," he smiles.

Xavier smiles and lays his head on Drew's shoulder, smiling. "Love you too."

Drew goes to feed Dolly and Bagel and Xavier sits down on the couch, grabbing the remote when he goes into shock. There's a ring on his finger.

Since when did he have an engagement ring?

(He turns to face Drew as he strokes Dolly's head, and mouths " _Yes_.")

><><>< 

_Jan 2018~_

Half of the south is screeching, and Drew cannot tell whether or not it’s a good thing. He decides it’s not when Caroline, Bernadette, and Charlotte lecture him about how he’s too young for this.

Xavier shrugs and the trio turns to Venus for support.

Apparently, “ _Does the ring fit good_?” was not the right response.

><

Margaret saunters into the room with her notepad and a pink glitter pen.

“The fuck?” Andrew asks.

"You two know jack shit about weddings and I don’t want it to be a flop.”

><

“FEBRUARY? THIS YEAR?” Margaret facepalms at the idea of that.

“Um.  _Hell the fuck no_. Even  _I_  know you can’t plan this in less than a month.  _Next_  year,” Andrew send a face that reads as “duh” to Maggie.

Oria decides that Maggie yelling is not okay and comes over to calm her down. She rests her elbows onto Margaret's shoulders and presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Mags, calm down. I’m pretty sure they can hear you in Brazil.”

“I thought they were being idiots,  _mon cœur_ ,” Margaret calms down, leaning her head up in an attempt to get a kiss. “A little lower, love.” Oria lowers her head and Maggie lands a kiss onto her cheek before she leaves.

Maggie is in her own little world, probably amidst a gay crisis over Oria, and they wait patiently for her to turn back into  _Gordon Ramsay: Wedding Planner_.

><><><

_Mar 2018~_

“We are not having the wedding on the coast I’m pretty sure 911 will have to be called considering the whole thing about deep water that the entire East Coast has,” Drew rolls his eyes as he speaks.

“How about we do it on Valentine’s Day so only a select few people can show up.” Xavier takes the slobbery ball from Bagel and tosses it into the field again.

“We’re going to get violently murdered if we do that. That’s the greatest idea I’ve ever heard.”

><

Coincidence likes them, because Margaret takes up another wedding with the same time-span and tells them that she can’t plan theirs.

Xavier coincidentally has another wedding planner on speed dial, for shame that it couldn’t have been family planning it. For shame indeed.

><

The new one is a lot calmer than Margaret, and is enthralled about how much they already had planned.

They get the venue booked for 14 Feb 2019, and they rest easy knowing that their doom is impending.

><><><

_Jul 2018~_

Marina screams loudly when she gets the “Save the Date” invitation.

She yells at Xavier for a solid 4 hours before agreeing to become an accomplice.

At this point they question whether or not they are planning a wedding or an indirect homicide.

><

“Blue and that one brown colour that looks nice with it?” Xavier asks, messing Drew’s hair up for some entertainment.

“I like it. How dare you recommend me something I  _like_?”

Xavier give him that smile that damns him into awkwardness every time.

He realises that he’s so very screwed.

><

Santiago calls Drew at 5 am, and sternly tells him, “Don’t fuck this up,” before hanging up.

Xavier wakes up from the tone that resounds after you’ve been idle post-hangup on the other end of the line. “What’s wrong?”

“So, your dad just threatened me. I didn’t know what actual fear was until 2 minutes ago.”

Xavier grumbles and pulls him back under the covers and plants his face right in the crook of his neck so he can’t move. Drew, again, realises that he’s so very screwed.

(He wakes up 6 and a half hours later and Xavier’s still asleep, which worries him until he realises that they were up past 2 am.)

><><><

Xavier doesn’t have as many “I’m screwed” gay crisis moments as Drew, but impulse is not his friend right now.

He just suggested that they dance in the rain like how people do in the cheesy romance movies that he had been subjected to watch with Ximena and Zinnia ( _and definitely didn’t watch another 3 times on his own_ ). Drew had grabbed a Ziplock bag for one of their phones and dragged him outside.

It’s all fun for shits and giggles until  _You Raise me Up_  comes on.

He’d only ever heard Venus sing it before, but the version on the playlist is the one she sent him that apparently made her sob uncontrollably for an hour. He can see why.

They slow down to a gentle loll, just barely moving. It’s calm as their turns slow and Xavier’s arms relax even more. He rests his head onto Drew’s shoulder, humming along softly. Drew chuckles and attempts to brush his hair out of his face, but the rain keeps pushing it back where it started.

One of the singers remarks with “ _Thank you all so much for coming. You’ve been such a wonderful audience._ ” and Xavier pulls his head up, meeting Drew’s  _very, very pretty_  green eyes.

“We’re going to be sick and miserable tomorrow if we don’t go in and warm up, love,” Drew smiles.

Xavier realises, then and there, that he is so very screwed.

><

They’re both sick the next day, but it was completely worth it.

><><><

_Sep 2018~_

Calliope asks about everything they've planned and she doesn’t stop until she can probably tell what they’re planning.

The half-assed answers only prompt her to ask more.

><

“Stop it,” Drew groans.

Xavier is more than a little confused, since he hasn’t even moved for the past hour. “Stop what?”

“Stop being so pretty. It’s hard to not kiss you because you’re sick.”

“Take a nap then,” is Xavier’s only retort to that.

“You’re asking the impossible. Kinda can’t when my  _beloved fiancé_  is very pretty.”

Xavier swoons at the title. Never heard anything better come from his  _beloved dumb idiot_  .

><><><

_Nov 2018~_

Marina comes up to make sure Xavier doesn’t look like an idiot on his wedding day, and she has a handy picture of Andrew’s suit to make sure they at least match.

><

“Marina. I absolutely hate you.” Xavier will admit he looks nice, but he also looks like a nerd.

“I could be worse. You look nice and you match, It doesn’t matter since the suits will come off like 10 minutes after the ceremony anyway,” Marina smiles wickedly as Xavier flushes red.

“ _Marina_ \- not in public.”

“I could always tell them to scrap this and we could get you a dress.” Marina takes a second to think about it. “Wait, no. You two wouldn’t even make it to a hotel before you’d start f-” Xavier shoves his hand over her mouth, beet red.

><

The suit is paid for but Xavier actually ends up considering the dress option.

><

“Would you be mad if I wore a dress?” Xavier asks.

Andrew stops dead in his tracks.

“Drew?  _Cariño_?” Xavier asks, concerned.

Andrew, turns around, beet red.

_Well that’s new._

“ _Cariño_?” Xavier asks again.

“ _That is the hottest fucking thing I have ever imagined_.”

><

“Is it too late to switch to a dress?” Xavier asks Marina.

“ _Jesus Christ_. Yes. It is. I have already paid for your suit, you are not switching.”

Well there goes that good idea.

><><><

_Dec 2018~_

Their wedding planner shows them the formal invitations, and confirms that they only want 2 sent. They smile and say that there is a full reason behind only 2 people being invited.

><

Bagel runs in between their legs as they find the perfect spot for the ceremony at the riverside. She tries to pick up various sticks for them to throw, but gets very discouraged when neither will throw one.

They stop for a solid minute. “Here is perfect.”

><

“2 months,” Xavier chimes before everyone starts shouting and he has to cover his ears so that he won’t be in too much pain.

Christmas is always loud, but everyone usually gets the idea once the first presents are passed out.

Andrew grimaces at the most ugly sweater in existence, and tries to not question why he is in love with this complete nerd.

“I am taking this sweater off of you at the next best moment,” Drew whispers.

“Can’t promise that I’ll be quiet through the whole moment.” Xavier presses a soft kiss to Andrew’s cheek.

><><><

_Feb 2019~_

10 days. 10 days left.

Neither can't say they aren’t excited. Paranoid about their incoming doom is also quite accurate.

Xavier suddenly remembers a very important question they should have acknowledged months ago.

><

“Do you want to hyphenate  _Varequiez_?” Xavier asks.

The question takes Andrew by surprise. He’d never even thought of that.

“I don’t know. You’d think we’d have figured this out at least 2 months ago.” Drew shrugs.

Xavier suddenly realises just about how much power he has over this.

“Well, tell me which one you like best.” Xavier clears his throat. He starts by mocking Georges Hautecourt, “Andrew Charles Jones.”

Drew laughs. That was the only acceptable way to say Drew’s full name according to Drew himself.

Xavier smiles evilly, before drawling, “ _Andrew Charles_  Varequiez _-Jones_.”

Drew goes very quiet and turns red.

“Or,” Xavier drawls the last one to the point where it’s practically pillowtalk, “ _Andrew Charles Jones-_ Varequiez.”

Drew is beet red, and visually trying to restrain himself. “Xavier,  _love_ , you’re fucking evil.”

Drew realises, again, that he is so very screwed.

><><><

_14 Feb 2019~_

Marina smiles, “You’re all grown up. I’m gonna cry.”

“I’d prefer if you didn’t.” Xavier lets her fiddle with his hair. Apparently, Andrew was already at the end of the aisle.

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

><

There’s a whole crowd of 2 people who are already sobbing. Andrew smiles at the end of the aisle, looking prettier than ever.

It’s almost as if he blinks and he’s at the end of the aisle.

He doesn’t listen to the officiant, he just keeps his eyes on Drew’s  _very, very pretty_  green eyes and he swears he might look like a love struck puppy (He doesn’t care, though. Andrew is  _very pretty_  and he is going to admire his pretty almost-husband if he wants to.).

He tunes in when the word “vows” is said.

Drew looks at him like he knows what’s coming and he wants to get it over with. Xavier smiles evilly. He has no less than 4 musicals (Broadway and cinematic!!!) referenced in this.

“I vow, to never leave you unsatisfied, ‘cause boy, you got me helpless and my love for you is never in doubt. Because i can close my eyes and see a world waiting up for me, and from now on, i promise to never let go of you, hand in hand, walking the tightrope with you. I can say firmly that our love is God, and we’re what killed the dinosaurs and we’re the asteroid that’s overdue. I can easily say that you freeze my brain every waking moment and life can be beautiful with you.” Xavier stops to take a breath and Drew cracks up laughing. He expected nothing less.

Xavier continues. “You’re something sweet, almost kind, though you can be mean and coarse and unrefined, but I want to spend my days in the sun with you. I know a moment can last forever with you, and and this speech is a tale as old as time. I would have loved to ask if anybody had a map or happened to know how the hell to do this speech without making it too cheesy. This is me just pretending to know how to write a speech and making it up as I go. But nonetheless, I love you. Sincerely, me.”  Xavier picks up one of the rings and places it on Andrew’s finger.

“Xavier,  _love_. I love you, but that was painful to listen to.” Drew gives a pitiful smile, he’d be groaning if he wasn’t so in love with this idiot. “This is going to be short and sweet. I love you. I probably will always love you. If Dolly and Bagel have to sit any longer they’re going to run us over at the next possible moment. I can’t wait to probably be murdered by your siblings at the next State of Union meeting with you.” Drew pushes the ring on Xavier’s finger and smiles genuinely.

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you: husband and husband. You may now kiss the theatre nerd.” (Drew is silently happy that the $50 bribe for the officiant to say that worked.)

And, they do kiss, They kiss a lot. Probably for too long.

><

"So. What happened to the dress idea? I was really looking forward to that." Drew smiles wickedly.

"Ask Marina. It's her fault that the dress didn't happen."

><><><

_Mar 2019~_

Margaret notices the rings first. “Did you two get married without us?”

“We waited like 3 hours for you all to show up so we went ahead with it,” Drew lies through his teeth.

“We never got invitations,” Charlotte admits. The entire room nods along.

“Marina got hers, we definitely sent out one for each of you.” Xavier gives looks of pity to the whole country.

“Did Marina film the ceremony?” Venus asks.

“I’ll ask her.”

(She did.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Musical references from Xavier's Vows speech: Hamilton, The Greatest Showman, Heathers, Beauty and the Beast (2016), Dear Evan Hansen.
> 
> They're gonna get their vows renewed so Drew has an excuse to see Xavier in a dress and the whole family could be there.


	4. Belame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rowan can’t help but gawk. She’s beautiful- always has been, always will be- but this might be the best thing he’s ever seen her in.

_ Jan 2015~ _

World meetings were already stressful enough, but it was just plain terrifying to have Russia stare him down for the majority of the meeting.

Ivan was terrifying enough as he was (It was a miracle that Raisia wasn’t a miniature him, taking after Zoya and Izabella more). Zoya could tell from all the way across the room with the rest of Europe that he was on edge, and it took a demeaning slap to get her brother to stop.

That solved one of his problems.

Now onto the other 20. Like not forgetting their anniversary.

OoOoO

“ _ Solnyshko _ , I’m sorry that Vanya was bothering you at the meeting. He’s been agitated since Christmas for no reason,” Zoya rests her head on his shoulder, pulling his arm around her shoulders and clasping his hand in her.

“It’s fine, _ zvezda moya _ . It might be because he caught the ballet director yelling at Raisia about her accident after the performance.” Or it could be because he asked for his blessing to marry his sister.

OoOoOOoOoO

_ Dec 2014~ _

Venus and Alyssa are little sneaks. They came up to him, out of the blue, and asked about what he would want for the engagement ring, and what size it should be.

He had called Ivan for the blessing 3 days ago.

He hadn’t told the states yet.

“Size 6, how the fuck do you two know already?” He decides to ask.

“You do realise we have functioning ears and know that you’ve been thinking about proposing for the last 2 years.” Alyssa laughs.

He turns red.

OoOoO

“Do you want me to engrave _ zvezda moya _ into the band? You call her that constantly.” Venus is drawing out the ring.

Rowan melts a little at the thought, but decides. “No, save it for the bands. She’s going to pressure you into engraving  _ solnyshko _ into mine.”

He looks down at Venus’s rings, her engagement ring and the bands. A wave of sadness psses over him because they couldn’t get married legally.

“Diamond or peridot for the gems?” Venus asks.

“Peridot on the center and 2 diamonds on each side.”

OoOoOOoOoO

_ 25 Dec 2014~ _

Venus offers up the little box in the early hours (it kills him that she probably hasn’t slept, but he won’t bother arguing with her about it).

“Does it look good? Alyssa wouldn’t settle until she cut the perfect peridot.” Venus fiddles with her rings, her fingers grazing over the aquamarine on her engagement ring and the ruby and topaz on her bands.

Rowan opens the box and gasps, it’s small but there.

“She’ll love it.”

OoOoOOoOoO

_ 7 Jan 2015~ _

Rowan hates high heels on other people. He isn’t the tallest, and heels only made people even taller. Case in point, his lovely girlfriend at 6’2 wearing 4 inch heels meeting him at 5’10.

She looks gorgeous in a burlap sack, but nothing can compare to her in a simple dress and a trench coat. “Happy Anniversary,  _ solnyshko _ .”

Rowan smiles, fiddling with the box in a hidden pocket of his coat. “Happy anniversary,  _ zvezda moya _ .”

OoOoO

Dinner is nice, especially when you leave your phone at home so your “children” won’t constantly be trying to reach you.

He’s glad that they are allowed to go onto the balcony in 10°F weather.

Rowan isn’t partial to the cold and Zoya is. He’s also very nervous right now and Zoya isn’t.

“ _ Zvezda moya _ ?” Rowan asks, 

“Yes,  _ solnyshko _ ?” Zoya smiles. 

Suddenly he’s at the same place he was 12 years ago, falling face first into love again.

That’s the push he needs to drop onto one knee. “Zoya,  _ vyydesh' za menya zamuzh _ ?”  _ Will you marry me _ ?

He holds his breath. Zoya is tearing up.

“ _ Da, ya soglasen _ .”  _ Yes, I will _ .

OoOoOOoOoO

_ Jan 2015~ _

Zoya floats around in an elated daze, which translates very nicely into ballet practice.

Raisia had been blabbing to everyone about the ring.

Beau had aggressively told her to “Shut the fuck up,” hands sharp with annoyance. (Raisia stuck her tongue out at him.)

Maggie saunters over, Oria clinging to her arm. “Get Zoya. Planning Time.”

OoOoO

“So. Izabella and Ivan need to be there, and you don’t want to choose favourites as bridesmaids and groomsmen.” Maggie notes this at the top. 

OoOoO

Rowan and she agree on the wedding being in winter. Zoya had been adamant bout summer being way too hot in DC.

“What if we got married on Christmas?” Rowan asks.

“Western or Russian Christmas?” Zoya asks to clarify.

“Western so we can just get married at the family home, no invites or renting necessary.”

“We’ll still have to tell the kids to dress really nice though.”

“Oh, fuck. I forgot about that.”

OoOoOOoOoO

_ Mar 2014~ _

“Why do you want  _ dogs  _ as the bridesmaids and groomsmen?” Maggie is pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Why not? It prevents us from obviously choosing favourites,” Rowan sighs.

“ _ THAT’S _ what you’re worried about?”

OoOoO

Zoya sends him an Amazon link to doggy tuxedos that can also come in white, and Rowan sends her an unintelligible string of emojis.

The dogs as the bridesmaids and groomsmen are gonna work.

OoOoO

Bernadette sits up from were she’s curled into Beau and Andy has to move to accommodate.

“I could make you those for half the price, and you won’t have to guess the sizes.” Bernadette moves her elbow so Andy and Beau could see.

“Good. Your models are Batdog, Superdog, Spiderdog, Black Doggow, Scarlet Woof, and Gaborka.”

OoOoO

Maggie asks the colour scheme.

Rowan pales, trying to remember. “We wanted a Winter Wonderland theme, white and mint. Double check with Zoya.”

He got the colours correct.

OoOoOOoOoO

_ Jul 2015~ _

Zoya comes home from her dress fitting sore and annoyed. Rowan gets up to let her lay down onto the couch and he curls up on top of her. He doesn’t ask- he knows that the attendants were probably bitchy and gross.

He kisses her cheek and she smiles a bit.

OoOoO

Izabella came to the shoppe with her, unlike the incident last week where she went alone. Izabella gawked at all of the dresses from the minute they stepped into the shoppe- while Zoya beelined to the dresses she liked.

An attendant kept whispering as she watched them- at least they both know what the BRIDE-TO-BE wants in a dress instead of assuming that she wants a overly-poofy ball gown, extra glitter.

“Zoya! I found one!” Izabella holds up  [ a beautiful fit-and-flare dress with a tulle overlay ](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/a2/aa/e6/a2aae60a3471d17cf3bebad4ba721a23.jpg) .

Zoya takes it, and holds it in front of her towards a mirror.

Her breath hitches.

“ _ I love it _ .”

OoOoOOoOoO

_ Sep 2015 _ ~

Maggie sighs. “So- Christmas is not going to be possible.”

Zoya and Rowan share a look.

“November then,” they say in unison.

Maggie checks her extremely colour coded planner.

“November’ll do.”

OoOoO

Apparently Madison is JUST finding out about the wedding.

“HOW DARE YOU GET MARRIED- YOU’RE ONLY JUST 240! YOU’RE TOO YOUNG!”

Rowan just keeps sighing, holding his temples, and repeating “Mom” until the word loses all meaning.

OoOoO

Venus comes up to them with a horrible sketch of the rings. “It’ll look better, I swear.”

Zoya’s heart melts just a little when she already knows to engrave “zvedza moya” and “solnyshko” into the rings.

“You two need to write those down for me. It’s gonna be in your handwriting whether you like it or not.” Venus smiles.

Zoya writes down “ солнышко” and Rowan writes down “звезда моя” and they hand off the paper to Venus.

OoOoOOoOoO

_ Oct 2015~ _

Rowan swoons when the rings are handed over for them to inspect. Zoya, allergic to both silver and gold, had gotten Venus a block of titanium alloy that her piercings were made of.

They’re beautiful. (Rowan finds it a little suspicious that Venus could copy his exact handwriting.)

OoOoO

Zoya is training the dogs to walk in the exact line she wants. They’re all running amok for the first few tries, but by the fourth run-down, they have it.

Then she gets them to go to their side and sit. That’s something they all understand.

Rowan catches them practicing once a day.

OoOoO

Zoya goes to try on her dress, taking Bernadette with her. It’s a little loose, but that’s better than it being too tight.

Bernadette is fanning herself while mumbling in a language Zoya doesn’t know. She hopes it’s a good reaction.

OoOoOOoOoO

_ Nov 2015~ _

They’re giddy as the day approaches, even if they have to wait 2 hours for them to get a marriage license.

OoOoO

“Do you guys have your honeymoon planned, plane tickets paid for or whatever?” Maggie asks.

They pale.

“DID YOU TWO FORGET YOUR HONEYMOON?”

OoOoO

“Just staying at home would be fine with me,” Zoya says, 

“I mean- it’s free too. Technically.” Rowan smiles.

Zoya pulls on a hoodie and settles onto the bed.

OoOoO

Bernadette steals the dogs and sends them pictures of them in their little white tuxedos with mint bows.

Black Doggow, Scarlet Woof, and Gaborka all have little mint ribbons holding up little tufts of fur.

When Bernadette gets a call back, they’re squealing.

OoOoO

“Solnyshko, it’s going to be fine.” Zoya kisses him. “It’ll go smoothly.”

They had just finished decorating the reception hall and getting the venue set up for the ceremony. Ivan had showed up and told everyone that it looked horrible. 

“So what if my brother doesn’t like it. It’s not his wedding. It’s ours.” 

Rowan calms down a bit.

“We need to get some sleep because it’ll be bright and early tomorrow.” Zoya smiles.

They barely sleep.

OoOoOOoOoO

_ 09 Nov 2015~ _

Paige is yelling at her to hold still as she curls and tucks and braids her hair to all hell. Olivia is doing her makeup since she knows what colours look good on albino people, being albino herself.

It’s an unknown form of torture.

Izabella comes in with the dress and compliments the makeup before leaving.

OoOoO

“ _ How much of that shit are you going to put on me _ ?” Rowan asks as Brett sighs and pulls out makeup.

“Enough to make you look very not-dead. Seriously your dark circles are half of your face.” Brett gives him a look that tells him to hold still or this will take longer.

OoOoO

Zoya is letting her hair set while she puts the dogs in their tuxes. They each get a treat for sitting quietly as she buttons up the vests and flips over the collars and affixes the bows.

She kisses each of their foreheads and leaves cute pink kissy marks on their fuzzy heads.

OoOoO

Izabella might faint.

Zoya is in the foyer, in her dress, and she looks beautiful.

That’s her baby sister.

The only thought keeping her from fainting is how red and astounded Rowan will be.

OoOoO

The music starts playing and Zoya gives the signal for the dogs to go up. The dogs follow their practice very well until everyone starts reaching out to pet them, because then they stop to allow pets before moving on. 

Ivan is saying that the wedding will be a disaster and Zoya tells him in a fit to “Just leave then.” She takes her arm out of his and walks over to Izabella for HER to walk her sister down the aisle.

Beau keeps Ivan out of the ceremony.

OoOoO

Rowan can’t help but gawk. She’s beautiful- always has been, always will be- but this might be the best thing he’s ever seen her in. 

He notices that she’s pissed until she’s halfway down the aisle and her face stets to neutral before she’s smiling. Rowan looks further back and he sees Beau Physically keeping Ivan out of the ceremony. 

_ Oh so he got kicked out _ , runs through his head.

OoOoO

The whole room seems to move in slow-motion as she walks down the aisle. Halfway down the aisle she consciously remembers that she looks pissed, and she settles her face before remembering that she gets to rub the fact that she has an amazing husband in the faces of others. That though makes her smile.

She reaches the altar and it all goes so quickly.

Rowan recites his vows and she’s so in love that she reverts back into Belorussian for her own and half the room snickers.

They take the rings- she forgot just how perfect the rings were. 

She melts a little rereading “solnyshko” in her own script. 

She melts more when she reads “zvezda moya” while the ring is on her finger, right as the officiant says “You may now kiss the bride.”

Rowan does kiss the bride.

He kisses her more once they’re out of the sight of everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the reception there was a doggy-sized table with homemade doggy-safe food for the groomspups and the bridespups.


End file.
